In December 2016 I was contacted by a journalist looking for baby pottiers to feature in a Daily Mail article. Three very experienced mums volunteered and told their story (well done The Mums!) - but most people ran a mile. Not because they don't want people to know what it's like to potty a young baby, but because they thought they would be misrepresented and ridiculed in the national press. And with good reason!
So I set up a questionaire and invited pottiers to give an insight into their lives - knowing that their stories would not be sensationalised and their words wouldn't be twisted.
Have a read through - it's fascinating!
If you practiced pottying yourself, please feel free to join in.
Thanks everyone! - Born Ready Jenn.
Xanthe, 32, London, England.
Part time children's nurse, part time stay at home mum. Two boys. Caught their meconium! "Love crafting and crosswords. Raising boys differently to how I imagined because it wasn't what it said on the tin!"
When did you first hear about baby pottying? Saw it in person when living in West Africa as a child, but didn't really think more about it until I read about it when pregnant. I didn't think I would end up doing it coz too time intensive, but then it actually made life easier!
Tell us about your first catch! Two little boys, held out over a nappy from birth because it made sense to keep that black stuff off their precious bums! Didn't have to use a whole pack of baby wipes to remove it from bum cheeks after - brilliant!
How do you go about pottying in the day time? We used cloth nappies as you will never catch every wee and we have carpets! Quickly ditched the pop up vests and babygros in favour of tops and bottoms for easier/quicker changes.
How do you go about pottying at night? We went through phases of both offering and not offering at night. Both boys dry at night from about 8 months, so then it was no longer an issue.
When did you stop using nappies? Both boys dry from about 16 months, but still took spare clothes for a good while longer just in case.
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? Realising a tiny baby is so aware of their bodies led me to trust them in other ways. I respect my boys choice about wearing more layers in cold weather because they will quickly put their gloves on when they feel cold.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? It went smoothly if you aren't looking for perfection - infant pottying is not really about catching everything after all, but tuning into your baby and helping them feel as comfortable as you can.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Online resources and chat groups.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Give it a go and have lots of spare leggings!
(Want to join in? Add your story.)
Kalpana Vaughan Wilson, 37, Birmingham, England.
Radio journalist and first time mum to Miles (18 months)."My son started signing to us at 6 months that he had messed his nappy, so we decided to give ec a go!"
When did you first hear about baby pottying? My mum and Grandma EC-ed (but didnt call it that!) I was potty trained myself about 9 months old. My mother in law also did it. My mum always talked about it but it wasnt something I planned to do. But my son started signing to us at 6 months he had messed his nappy, we decided to give it a go!
Tell us about your first catch! First catch was a poo. Both myself and my husband felt so proud of our son. He just got it. Even now, whenever he's done a huge poo we say 'I'm so glad that's not in a nappy!'
How did you know when to offer the potty? Miles would sign 'Twinkle Twinkle' as I used to sing it to him during nappy changes.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? Very much part time. Miles is still in nappies and is in nursery 2 days but they offer after naps and at nappy changes. My parents have him 2 days and so they're totally on board with it . At this stage we offer based on timings and chest slaps.
How do you go about pottying at night? We don't . We potty before bedtime and on waking.
Any amusing / inspiring memories? We were in transit after a holiday in the south of France. I pottied Miles at Frankfurt airport. He did a poo..And got a round of applause from other passengers in the toilets!
When did you stop using nappies? Planning to in 2 months time when we're on holiday with my parents. My son is 18 months old now.
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? It's made all of us more confident. I love the relationship we all have and how empowered it makes Miles feel!
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Best parenting decision we made!
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Support from our parents.
How did other people react to your pottying? Some don't believe us. But mainly people are intrigued.
How did professionals react to your pottying? Nursery were reluctant to try it at first but seem genuinely interested in it now.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Don't put pressure on yourself or your baby. Just give it a go and see what happens.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? Just the most supportive and informative parenting group I have ever been in!
(Want to join in? Add your story.)
Michele, 30, Maidestone, England
Mother of two - a 6 year old daughter and 2 year old son (Fox). Started pottying Fox at 6 months, nappy free by 15 months. "Before I became a mum I was the interesting combination of a model and a MLA (Medical Laboratory Assisant) in a medical microbiology lab!"
When did you first hear about baby pottying? I had originally heard about it through my friend who was pottying her baby but when I had my second child I still wasn't sure how to go about it - however I met Jenn at the gentle parenting show when Fox was 6 months old. I knew she would be there and sadly missed her talk so went to see her at her stand. She was soooo helpful and positive and I started the next day!
Tell us about your first catch! As Fox was already 6 months old he wasn't giving me any noticeable signs that he needed to go so I started just by putting him on the potty when he woke on the first morning and he right away did a poo and a wee!!!!! I was so shocked haha!
How did you know when to offer the potty? First of all I offered the potty in a routine. So first thing in morning and every couple of hours/every nappy change etc... every time he was on the potty I'd make a psssss sound to encourage him and I would sign to him (chest slap) if he actually went. Quite soon he was wearing the same cloth nappy all day and only going in the potty and within two months (8 months old) he started to use the chest slap sign himself to ask to go!
How do you go about pottying at night? I was quite scared of nightimes if I'm honest and at first just kept him in nappy and didn't do it over night. However he did start asking at about 1y to go in the night. I left it until 18m to quit nighttime nappies completely but that was more my own lack of confidence and he could have done it much sooner! He has had a small phase of nightwetting since so now I encourage him to go when he wakes around 1am
Any amusing / inspiring memories? I think it's just fab to see how impressed others are that your 15 month old boy is wearing pants confidently. Most people are so inspired and want to know how to do it!
When did you stop using nappies? 15 months we were completely in pants with no accidents and with him in control completely not me looking for signs or times.
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? I was always a very aware parent but I think it's made me see what is actually possible and normal. I was worried having a boy because you hear they are difficult to 'train' but it's been a total breeze.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Absolutely! It was the best decision ever and I can't thank Jenn (and fate!) enough for that 10 minute chat and all her support since. All my friends are worrying about how and when to start potty training when I can't even remember changing his nappies! I feel so proud of him and I just wish he wasn't my last so I could start from birth next time!
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? The support of the Facebook group.
How did other people react to your pottying? Nearly everyone thought it was so cool and some people would say 'oh I couldn't be dealing with that'
How did professionals react to your pottying? Health visitor is so impressed!
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Do it! Join the Facebook group and also read Amber's book which I found really helpful too!
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? The Facebook group is so helpful and supportive!
Have you ever had to make a catch for medical reasons? I've had to give urine samples from my son on several occasions as he had a kink in his urethra and a clean catch is sooooo easy to get! Impressed Doctors or what!
(Want to join in? Add your story.)
Cat, 34, Glasgow, Scotland
Mother to a 1 year old daughter and bump in progress. First used a potty at 8 weeks old."An outdoor loving, animal daft musician. Didn't read any 'parenting' or baby books before our daughter arrived, we just followed our gut. Realised a few months into her life that our style had gentle and attachment tags."
When did you first hear about baby pottying? A friend gave me Amber's book. Our daughter was 8 wks old. We put her on the potty before I'd finished the book that week.
Tell us about your first catch! I remember feeling so surprised she's actually peed!! We also felt strangely proud!
How did you know when to offer the potty? We started with timing, so on waking, nappy changes, when she was getting fed and moved onto when she would have a wee cry.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? We're now full time, I'd say we were part time at the start for a couple of months. Once she didn't pee and pooh a million times a day we invested in Flaparaps and that was when we naturally started doing it full time.
How do you go about pottying at night? Started with a potty just before we went to bed and left her in cloth through the night. We tried to potty her through the night at about 4 months but the Velcro noise would wake her up. Once we got Flaparaps I would potty her when she stretched right out (we bed share). Now at 1yr she rarely pees through the night, but if she needs one she rolls onto her front. (She's slept nappy free since 10 1/2months.)
Any amusing / inspiring memories? Realising when she lifts her potty in the air she's telling us she needs the toilet!
When did you stop using nappies? We still use Flaparaps through the day but are moving to training pants after Christmas [A month from when this was written - Jenn].
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? I think it's reinforced our parenting style. We both see our daughter as a mini human, we don't see babies as separate beings who don't or can't communicate. We both know when she's wanted milk from before the time she could pull my top down, so why wouldn't she be able to tell us she needed the toilet. I definitely feel the communication element has helped strengthen our relationship even more.
It was all going so well, and then.... Touch wood we've only had one day we'd count as a regression... But she was going through a developmental leap. It's not about having her out of nappies by a certain age. For us it's about the communication and about our daughter being aware of her bodyily functions and not sitting in wet or dirty nappies.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? So far so good.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Buying about 5 £1potties and having them everywhere!!
How did other people react to your pottying? 1/2 our family thought we were bonkers and making too much for ourselves. But we view it as another way to parent responsively. I've been pleasantly surprised by the number of mums who've heard about it....but haven't tried it...they almost seem scared to for some reason. Cafe staff are always confused when we use the ladies and not the baby change!
How did professionals react to your pottying? My health visitor already thinks I'm bonkers... Imagine breast feeding for over 6 months... And BLW.. Nuts... I'm also vegan so I really don't think she was too surprised!
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Just go for it... Right now. You'll be surprised how easy it is to start!
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? It's been so nice to feel part of a community of like minded parents who've offered us support on our journey.
And finally... On the odd occasion we have a pooh miss I'm horrified...how do people deal with poo-y nappies everyday?? Also I'd hate to have to sit in my own poo :( yuck
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Alice, 29, Bristol, England
Aussie mother to a 5 month old daughter. First used a potty at 2 weeks old. "My partner and I are both very passionate about social justice, and particularly the environment and climate change. I am a social worker who works with children in care, and the state of the environment and what it means for my child's future really scares me! "
When did you first hear about baby pottying?
I first heard about baby pottying whilst pregnant, and read the term 'nappy free baby' and was initially confused. As I started reading, it made sense to me.
I first put my little one on the potty sometime in the first two weeks, and she wee'd on there every time. However, I am an Australian living in the UK, and had family staying with me, and I found it too overwhelming to be pottying alongside everything else, and visitors! Started pottying at nappy changes consistently around 8 weeks.
Tell us about your first catch! My first catch was in the first two weeks and was a wee. I was shocked that it was so easy! Wanted to take a picture, but didn't, however have since! The first time I caught a poo I was shocked as really wasn't expecting it, my baby at the time only poo'd every few days without signally really. We catch all her poos now (other than when she was poorly a few weeks ago and I couldn't keep up with all the sharts!) and I still feel really pleased and accomplished each time even 3 months later!
How did you know when to offer the potty? I started just offering the potty at nappy changes, which I still do. My baby only signals for wees when she has no nappy on, so usually she will shout when she is having some nappy free time, I try and she wees. For poos she will either do a particularly smelly fart, or will seem uncomfortable which is otherwise unexplainable. This has been trial and error, as I learn to read her cues.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? We part time EC, offering potty at changes, and when she signals for poos. I use cloth nappies at other times during the day.
How do you go about pottying at night? Overnight I use disposables. As a newborn my baby never poo'd overnight, however I have started to pick up cues, and will offer the potty at these times overnight.
Any amusing / inspiring memories? Visiting a friend when baby was 4 months, and held her over the toilet in the morning and she did a big (unexpected) poo. Flushed and felt very pleased with ourselves. Shouted out to my friend so she wouldn't be weirded out by the loud toileting sounds. She went in afterwards and apparently toilet hadn't flushed properly and her response was 'aaaw, little baby poo is so cute!' Positive responses always make me happy, I'm finding myself telling more and more people about EC and finding people are generally interested rather than freaked out.
It was all going so well, and then.... Baby was poorly and was pooing a lot more than she usually does. Found myself using disposables and missing most poos. Accepted this and continued to follow baby's lead and offering potty. As baby's tummy settled down, she wasn't doing so many unexpected ones, and had learnt that as soon as I had an inkling, to run as quick as I could to a potty! Baby was back on track after about two weeks. Having read lots of stories about this sort of thing, gave me hope that it was just a blip and to just keep following her lead.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Still in the midst of it, but both my partner and I very glad we started and continue to potty.
How did other people react to your pottying? My parents don't know as I just can't be bothered to discuss with them if I don't have to (can be quite judgemental). Some friends have been skeptical, but I have a few Mum friends with baby's the same age, who actually read about it and brought it up, and I have been able to share my experience and have received a really positive response.
How did professionals react to your pottying? Haven't had any need to share with professionals thus far. She will be going to nursery around 1, and the nursery I am looking at it hasn't specifically mentioned it, but has mentioned willing to support with potty training younger children. Hoping they will be on board.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Just give it a go. I was put off initially by trying to get my head around how it will work, but once I started, I just found what worked for me.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? Both have been really helpful. EC UK fb page particularly so as I find reading other's experiences motivated me to get going.
(Want to join in? Add your story.)
Sophie, 42, Beaconsfield, UK
Medical Doctor, mother of three (11, 9 and a 15 month old boy). The youngest used a potty at 1 month old."Big supporter of cosleeping, breastfeeding, natural home birth. I really wish I'd known about ec with my first two."
When did you first hear about baby pottying?
My first two were potty trained at 2.5 years (son) and 2 years old (daughter) both night and day. As a doctor I had been taught that babies before 2 were not neurologically able to control their bladder and i believed that with the first two. However being French and American, living in the USA I did think Americans potty trained too late. I didn't believe this story that you have to wait till the child was ready.
I heard stories that prior generations were potty training at 18 months so why were we now waiting till they were 3.
I suspected the convienience of disposables were part of the problem- parents were busy and it was easier to just leave them in disposables - so when books suggested you wait till the child was ready - parents loved this - the later the better.
Of course, with no feedback - why would the child ever be ready? With disposables they were comfortable and could wee whenever they wanted with no consequence. I know that couldn't be good and thus went cold turkey with my first two - taking the nappies off when I was ready - letting them have loads of accidents and therefore learn. They both potty trained quickly and easily.
With my third I decided to go cloth nappies - but very quickly was having terrible rashes. I was about to go do disposables when my cousin sent me the diaper free book by Ingrid Bauer. I was immediate convinced that I could ec, as I had already noticed my child tell when he needed to go. I never looked back.
Tell us about your first catch!
I started at night ecing because I could give Cedric my full attention. I had noticed that he tended to wee and or poo each time he awoke, prior to nursing. That made catching easy. As soon as I read the first few chapters of Diaper Free - I took off the nappies and prepared for a wet and dirty night - I had loads of towels and blankets under my 1 month old and myself and next to our bed.
I caught the first wee/ poo a few hours after he went to sleep for the night, I was so excited. For me being curled up skin to skin with this little baby felt so free and so right. He spent most of the night lying on my chest and in this way I was able to catch most of his wees. He always got agitated and crying before going, he never just went.
It was easy and very satisfying right from the start. As long as I went to bed early and stayed with him all night catches were easy. Usually I missed when I was too tired. To catch I held a bowl / bed pan between my knees and had his back on my chest, knees pulled up to his chest. This seemed to help him go and helped with uncomfortable stomach. He seems happy I was helping him to eliminated.
How did you know when to offer the potty?
Once again since I started with night time it was every time he awoke. Sometimes he would wake up just for a wee and then go back to sleep. He usually kicked off the blankets and started to fuss and that's when I would know he needed to go.
I started during the day a few weeks later. Again he would start kicking his legs and farting. He would also often have a little spit up just before going. I felt more shy about doing it during the day especially when I was out and about. That got better quickly when I felt at ease letting him wee and poo in the sink - it was more comfortable for me than bowls etc.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? I was doing ec full time during the day and night using a combination of timing and signals. Cedric has been completely nappy free at night since he was 1 month old. Until he was about 9 or 10 months I was catching about 80 to 100 percent during the day as well (depending on how distracted I was - by telephone, other children etc). However since he started walking I struggle more during the day
How do you go about pottying at night? Now he is older he doesn't go at night very often - Cedric now sits on me and pulls my shoulders up when he wants to wee - he is very clear at night.
Any amusing / inspiring memories? I tried to teach him to sign but Cedric realised that when I'm sleeping signing is not effective. Cedric came up with sitting on me and pulling my shoulders up - I thought that was brilliant communication!
When did you stop using nappies? Cedric doesn't use nappies at night had hasn't since he was 1 month old (though I will put a nappy on when we stay at friend's house - for security as occasional accidents happen if I'm overly tired).
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting?
Yes pottying/ ec has been one of the most satisfying experiences I've had with raising Cedric. I really wish I had know about it for my first two. It is so satisfying to communicate in this way with your little one - to know when they need to go.
My husband was dead set against it for the first 3 months. Now he has more success catching the poo inthe toilet than I do! He loves it and is pround to assist our son in eliminating in such a clean way.
We never have to deal with poo smeared all over his bottom and back, or being in public places with a very stinky toddler. This just doesn't happen to us. We feel sorry for my 6 year old nephew who still wears diapers to bed, or my other 4 year old nephew who's pull ups are always leaking st night and who still can't control his bladder. Shame on the diaper companies for purposefully confusing parents - creating a product that has caused children to loose connection with how to control their bladders. Hopefully others will see the light and catch on to the wonders of ec
It was all going so well, and then.... When they start to walk it more difficult to catch - I'm still struggling with this but slowly he is learning to communicate his needs.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Faith in my baby, allowing him to go in sinks - public and private, not worrying what others think, paying attention to him, having groups like this [ec uk facebook group] to learn from
How did other people react to your pottying? My extended family in the USA were horrible toward me - kept telling me to put a diaper on my son. People in the uk were much more supportive and inquisitive.
How did professionals react to your pottying? Surprize.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? Great support group for ec-ing.
And finally... I'm a medical doctor, trained at harvard, and ecing is not only safe, it is healthy and highly recommended for all babies. It is how humans are meant to be and should be encouraged.
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Louisa, 34, Gateshead, England
Mother of a (very nearly) 12 month old boy. Used a potty from 4 months."I have masters degrees in chemistry and in education. I am quite a practical logical person, as all parents do I just want what's best for my baby and EC made the most sense to me."
When did you first hear about baby pottying? I watched an interview on TV many many years ago, and decided straight away that when the time came I would try it. It took a while after having my first baby to look into it in more detail, we started at four months but I would start earlier the next time round.
Tell us about your first catch! I started with observing for signals and timing. I was a bit discouraged as couldn't pick up on signals and in the first few days didn't get many catches, but then started catching a lot of pees on waking and during nappy changes (in-arms hold over the toilet). At first I wasn't sure it would work and thought I'd left it too late, but there was such a big improvement in a short time and I was really pleased I stuck with it.
How did you know when to offer the potty? I ECd part-time: on waking, during nappy changes, before bath and before bed. I was aware baby would usually pee shortly after a milk feed, but had problems with reflux and had a few incidents so stopped offering then. I just started with pees and didn't worry about poops, as baby only went every 3-4 days and was usually sudden with no signal. When he started solids at 6 months poops became more frequent and signals more obvious, and in a very short time we started catching most poops.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? We potty part-time. I use disposables when out of the house and during the night, and Flaparaps in the house during daytime. We use potties, a seat reducer and in-arms hold over toilet. No specialist clothing but baby usually wears shorts/trousers that are easy to take off, e.g. elasticated-waist shorts/jogging pants/cords rather than dungarees with lots of poppers.
How do you go about pottying at night? Not currently ECing during night. Previously used to change nappy every other feed and would usually pee first in toilet. No longer feeding during night. Tried pre-empt a few times but didn't go well.
Any amusing / inspiring memories? The first poop catch was unexpected and was pretty exciting. I hadn't tried for poop as baby didn't go regularly, when starting solids that changed very quickly to 5-6 poos per day! After a couple of days I offered the toilet expecting a pee and got a bonus poop, from that point on baby frequently pooped in the toilet without me being aware of signals or timing at first. He just seemed to get it and made the transition on his own.
It was all going so well, and then.... At 7 months when baby started standing there were a few weeks of resistance to pottying (also to nappy changes, car seat, high chair, etc - super stroppy independent phase!). At first changing from in-arms toilet hold to potty helped, but soon went downhill again. I found that offering a few different options one after the other did the trick, e.g. potty/seat reducer/in-arms toilet/upstairs bathroom/downstairs. He was often satisfied and had a big pee in the third location, no matter where it ended up being. It just took an extra minute each time and avoided tantrums.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Apart from a few short awkward phases it has generally been a really positive experience so far. I would definitely recommend it.
How did other people react to your pottying? Friends without children seem more open-minded, as they have no frame of reference and can straight away see the logic to it. Other parents are more surprised, some are interested but don't tend to want to try it themselves. Grandparents have been great and are in the swing of pottying when babysitting.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Don't put off starting, you might find it's easier and more convenient than you think.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? I found the Born Ready site really useful and interesting when starting out. The EC UK Facebook group is really friendly and supportive, as well as people helping each other with problems, it's nice to see a lot of positive inspirational posts from all stages of the EC process.
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Rachel, 28, San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA
Mother of a 14 month old girl, used a potty at 3.5 months. "Eldest of five, learned a lot from helping raise the younger sibs. Born and raised in the east coast (USA) boonies, always exploring outdoors. Biology at university, then followed with PhD (epidemiology, public health, infectious diseases). Now attempting to work from home while wrangling a kiddo!"
When did you first hear about baby pottying?
I remember briefly reading about elimination communication (EC) while pregnant, and totally not believing that it would be possible (distant memories of helping potty train my younger siblings...). Didn't think much more of it, and instead dedicated myself to studying other things I thought would be more useful to a new mommy...
Then baby was suddenly 3.5ish months and a LOT of crazy sleeping, not sleeping, trying to get her to stay asleep, and her waking up multiple times after just a few minutes of sleep. After several days/nights of this, this mommy was extra sleep-deprived (aren't we all!!!) and getting pretty desperate. During one of her micronaps during which she had one of my arms trapped under her to help her stay asleep (y'all know exactly what I'm talking about ;) ), the other hand was Googling anything possible about babies and frequent waking. Came across something about babies not peeing while soundly asleep, then peeing when they rouse a little and reminded me of her doing frequent wakes when she was younger, and at that prior time we thought it was because she was wet. Then I got thinking maybe it was because she had to pee....
Ok, so then in my sleep deprived state I read a little more and stumbled again upon elimination communication, and something that said because babies (and adults too!) don't usually pee when asleep, it's best to try at the beginning to put them over the potty just after they wake up. So I did...
Tell us about your first catch! As soon as she woke up from that fateful Google-filled nap. And the little bugger peed! And looked happy as a clam doing so. And I thought for sure it was a lucky fluke. Then we kept doing it after each nap. And sometimes she peed, and sometimes not. But it was so cool to see (and photodocument, haha) her do it, and it really gave me a weird thing to 'look forward to' amidst the millions of micronaps.
How did you know when to offer the potty? When she was smaller, there would be a small grunt noise for wees. She was an infrequent poo-er (once a week or less) for a few months, but the day before she needed to, she would be so extra grouchy and fussy. Now at 14mo, we do wee offering on timing. Poos she almost always goes to the potty and, of her own accord, she will sit until she is done.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? Catch that big morning wee! Feels awesome! Then timing for the rest of the day. Cloth diapers when home, disposibles when out-n-about. My child loves to run around the house without anything on her bum, lol. Only a few accidents on the floor so far (all wees).
How do you go about pottying at night? It used to work, but it got ugly (back-arching, fully-waking, crying, etc), so we're on a night EC break! Try again every few months to see if we can again.
Any amusing / inspiring memories? learned the importance of order (FIRST get potty, THEN undiaper baby...) one night when I sleepily undiapered and then got the potty, and when I turned back around to the baby, she was mid stream and we had a puddle soaking into the mattress...!
When did you stop using nappies? Still in nappies at 14months. Slowly starting to tell us when she needs to pee (by hanging out in the potty nook and waiting for me to notice, sometimes will sign 'potty' but not reliably yet)
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting?
It gives me another 'thing' to offer her when she is fussy. You know, along with the usual list of offerings...hungry? Burpy? Already wet and need a new diaper? Sleepy? That extra thing sometimes does the trick and mentally helps me too!
Also feel like there is a higher level of attention to her smallest movements...she is always communicating something and I love to do my best to find out what she is trying to tell me and what she is thinking. I don't think I would be quite so aware if I hadn't been practicing looking for potty cues for months!
It was all going so well, and then.... Nights are a mess right now to try to offer. Just take a break! Get the rest! Try again in a week or two etc.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Really pleased! Love that it's helped our sleep schedule. Love that my baby has never had a nappy rash (I attribute this partially to EC, though others might have different experiences).
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Attitude! I'm just in awe any time she makes it to the potty, and I don't stress about the 'misses' (she's just a baby, after all!). In a very strange way, I think this extra little activity and time we spend together has helped with some of the overwhelming new-mom feel and the slight postpartum depression/anxiety I was having because it gives me something I can listen to her for.
How did other people react to your pottying? My mother (mom of five and elementary teacher with early childhood specialization) thought I was crazy. My husband didn't really believe me until he saw it first-hand. My co-workers with small kiddos are amazed that it's something that people do.
How did professionals react to your pottying? Original pediatrician didn't bat an eye (we lived in a university town with lots of international folks from countries where EC is the norm). A move meant finding a new pediatrician, who paused when I mentioned it, and then said something like 'when babies are this young, they can't REALLY tell us what they want.' I later realized I should have asked what it means when my baby is crying and rooting...does that really mean she is hungry?
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Go for it! Just try it! Don't stress!
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? Jenn is marvelous! So glad for the stories and support and advice on the EC UK FB group. And so glad for Jenn's amazing attitude towards the educational outreach!
And finally...
By nature, I'm an annoyingly overachieving OCD-type person, so I think some folks might have thought this was something I was trying to push on my baby to make her sound more wonderful than she just naturally is. But...from the start, this has been baby-led. Trust me, I would have totally loved it if she wouldn't mind just doing her thing in a diaper and we could have gotten longer stretches of sleep (or any sleep!)! No forcing or attempting to attain over performance from this mommy.
I don't mean to suggest that this is some magic thing that everyone needs to try, just offering an experience that has worked out for us, something I wouldn't have generally considered or thought of, maybe might interest someone else (or at least solidify in your mind the fact that motherhood has pushed me over the edge ;) ).
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Christine, 30, Germany
Mother to a 15 week old boy. Used a potty from birth. "University-educated, self-employed, well-travelled. Calm and quiet, with a calm and quiet partner ... rewarded with a loud, nutty baby. Becoming a parent has brought out my previously very well-concealed inner hippy."
When did you first hear about baby pottying? While pregnant. I only read two books during this time ... one was on how to get this baby out without freaking out (Mindful Hypnobirthing), the other was Amber's Nappy Free Baby.
Tell us about your first catch! Meconium! Amazing! Curled up in bed after the birth we suddenly noticed the creeping black ooze ... I cried out for the little bowl I'd stashed in one of the crib pockets and we caught it! While I'd forgotten about the poop-racticalities of a baby in those first couple of hours, being 'ready' for that first catch made it a great start for me.
How did you know when to offer the potty? First three months, timing and funny faces. Following a Week 12 poop strike, we're now learning about our completely altered boy using more nappy-free time and different timings.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? Potty offers at nappy changes (which are based on key timings, such as waking, getting out of sling). Cloth full-time. It's getting frustrating. As LO gets more active, I'm seeing how Flaparaps and EC clothing are going to become necessary for me to achieve the level of EC that I want. We've started nappy-free time during the day, and I can see that the nappy-on thing is completely a state of mind. When my partner comes in he has a panic every time he sees the baby with no nappy on ... I'm starting to see it more as the norm.
How do you go about pottying at night? At the moment, he's not a good sleeper, so I either do very quick nappy changes and no pottying at night or hold him out over the old, wet nappy if he's sleeping well before putting on a fresh nappy. We've had a couple of poopy misses when a very tired mama has been too zonked out to get out of bed and get to the bathroom ... counterproductive, as I can't bear leaving him messy and then have to get up to shower him down anyway. Looking forward to setting up the night potty station when I move into the nursery with him part time and we get our bedroom back!
Any amusing / inspiring memories? Nothing too spectacular, but having friends and relatives complain about all the pooped on clothes and hosing down that happens made me realise one day that we've never had to do that in the first three months as we've caught almost every poop. That's a result.
When did you stop using nappies? Bring it on ...!
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? I can't imagine doing anything any other way. When I read Amber's book, I'd already heard briefly about nappy-free babies, and that, and Jenn's tutorials, blew the spark into a flame. This is our life now. And I admit I was rather proud when we turned up at my sister in law's (who plans to nappy until five) fo Christmas with a potty and a three month old baby, who immediately put it to good use after a long car journey ...
It was all going so well, and then.... Eek, Week 12 poop strike. I thought we were doing so well, and then LO stopped pooping for over a week and at the end of it we had a brand new baby to get to know all over again potty-wise. At the same time though, he's getting so strong and almost mobile that this was the perfect opportunity to introduce the big potty and get back on track - it forced me to make the decision about how committed I was, as I knew we could just accept this new normal, with big poopy misses. Instead, I'm planning in more nappy-free time and am sewing up a new wardrobe to get into EC our way.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Still implementing and learning, can't wait, pleased with every success, not sweating the misses.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Clothing! Normal baby clothes (and winter in particular) are the enemy of EC. Drop-flap nappies, t-shirts, split pants and woolly leg warmers all the way. For me, being ready clothes-wise makes the difference between having a great EC day and not really bothering as much as I should.
How did other people react to your pottying? Older generations not shocked at all. Most people of my generation think it's nuts. I live in Germany, and my German isn't good enough to have a full anti-disposables, pro-EC rant yet ... which is probably a good thing as a lot of people would have been given a large piece of my mind otherwise.
How did professionals react to your pottying? Our homebirth midwives were fantastic, but then, they're pretty open to everything non-'mainstream'. I'm afraid to tell my doctor though, and honestly hope we don't have any problems that need me to share it with him ... the cloth nappies are about the limit with him - his reaction to a snappy nappy pin was priceless ...
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? So many of the troubles we had in the first months with our LO were tummy related, and EC was not a luxury - it was necessary to make our baby feel better (and for us to get any sleep at all). If your baby has any tummy troubles, leanrning about his potty needs has to be a must. Even if you don't have such a baby, however, I would always recommend EC as simply one more tool in the parenting arsenal, and probably add that catches are addictive and bizarrely satisfying.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? How many places are there that you can really celebrate poop? I honestly wish my mum circle was made up almost entirely of Facebook group members ... I say almost because then we could have lots of fun converting the rest ...
And finally... Seeing parents allow their children to routinely soil themselves breaks my heart. Despite all of our successes, I still find our pottying quite an embarrassing or controversial thing to talk about with 'normal' people. In fact, it's a right pain socially, and fairly lonely, when so many of the parenting choices you make are not 'mainstream'.
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R, 33, Berkshire, UK
Mother to a 13 month old boy. First used a potty at 6 months. "I'm a Physics teacher, so have both experience with young people and a scientific background. I'm a firm believer in research to guide my parenting choices. Have done a lot of reading as there are so many choices to make!"
When did you first hear about baby pottying? Saw it mentioned on one of the forums on Facebook when baby was little and had it at the back of my mind to look into it when I'd had time to come out of the newborn fog. Then someone mentioned it on a call in on a tv show and people I was with were discussing how ridiculous it was when I remembered the original post. I looked at the born ready website and bought the Nappy Free Baby book. At this point he was 6 months, we had just started BLW and he was waiting in the morning to poo until he had his nappy removed ever since they started to become more solid, so we just sat him on a potty and have never looked back.
Tell us about your first catch! It was in a potty at 6 months and it just felt right. When he was waiting until the nappy change to poo in the mornings, I could understand from an adult perspective why he waited. It didn't realise that potty training was a viable option before, as I'd only heard up to that point of toilet training 20months plus and thought he was too young. Reading the book and website really helped.
How did you know when to offer the potty? In the mornings at wake up was an obvious place to start, then we did it at every nappy change and most wake ups in line with the book's recommendations.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? Nappies at night, pull ups in the day, both disposable. Potette Plus would be my number 1 recommendation to anyone doing this from when they can sit unaided. It can be folded out on any toilet so you don't have any mess to clear up, and doubles as a potty when out so they're used to the same thing. At home it's straightforward. If out and about, I pop a disposable change mat on the passenger seat of the car (in case of occasional accidental boy overshoot) and set up the potette with liner on top of the mat. This works especially if it's winter as you can keep the car warm and so many of the toilets/change stations out and about are so unhygienic and they want to touch everything. This works so much better!
How do you go about pottying at night? 12hr disposable, offer toilet before putting on bedtime nappy and on fully waking the next morning.
Any amusing / inspiring memories? Just every time you get a catch. It might not seem that big, but to them it's less discomfort, which is always a positive thing.
When did you stop using nappies? Not there yet, 13 months at the moment.
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? The more I read, the more I believe baby led is the way to go. We have breastfed on demand, done baby led weaning and baby led potty training. It leads to a content young person as it gives them some control. The best piece of advice I've had as a parent is this - imagine instead of a baby it's your nan in a nursing home. Both human, both struggling to communicate, struggling to feed themselves, both incontinent. If you are about to do something you're not sure about and you haven't got time in that moment to research, just think of the same situation for your elderly relative. If you wouldn't want that done to your nan, don't do it for your baby, and vice versa.
It was all going so well, and then.... D&V. Just getting him to the toilet for some of it meant less to clear up. Very difficult to go out until things get back to normal, but makes clean ups marginally easier.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? We are still on our journey but I'm so glad we started.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Potette Plus
How did other people react to your pottying? Friends found it weird that I'd ask for a toilet at their house and I'd need to explain. Out and about we are in the car, so it has just been friends. Some have thought it odd, but I talk them through it and at least 3 others have tried it now as a result. Family were initially sceptical, but they know I research everything thoroughly and as soon as they saw the first catch they were sold. Most who haven't tried it have said it's because they are sending the child to nursery at the end of maternity leave and they won't carry it on and don't want the child to get confused. I know some nurseries do support BLPT, but more info needs to go to the colleges that train early years staff, so people hear about it from source, then when they go into their settings they spread the word.
How did professionals react to your pottying? A few teachers know, and they were interested to hear the science behind it.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? If they are sitting unaided, buy a Potette Plus and start. It will make your life so much easier. You don't need to do it full time, even if you just catch poo, it'll make a huge difference to your cleanup and baby's comfort. If earlier than sitting unaided, I don't have experience, but again get the book and give it a go!
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? A great place to direct people who want to find out more.
And finally... It was only by chance I heard about BLPT, after doing a lot of reading. Is there a way to get this info through to hv/midwives to disseminate like weaning and feeding choices? [Anyone have any ideas? I know people reading this are in all sorts of professions. Email jenn@bornready.uk, thanks - Jenn]
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Rachel, 30, Witney, Oxfordshire, UK
Mother to a 6 month old girl who used a potty from birth."Studied linguistics at Cambridge then became an editor at an educational publisher. Married my teenage boyfriend at 21. Always wanted kids but knew I probably wouldn't love the baby/small child stage, so it took us 9 years to pluck up the courage to go for it! Now have a bonny 6 month old girl who is gorgeous but confirming my suspicions. So far, I find motherhood mostly stressful and exhausting!"
When did you first hear about baby pottying? Several years ago I heard a parent friend talk about the fact that babies have a 'poo face' when they are about to poo. I thought 'why don't people put the kid on the toilet if they know they're going to poo, rather than have to clear up a disgusting nappy?!' I looked it up online to see if it was a thing, and it was! So I determined to do it with my future children, as the thought of solid poos in nappies gives me the eeby jeebies.
Tell us about your first catch! When my daughter was a couple of days old (as soon as I got her back from the high dependency unit) we started holding her in a squat over the sink in my hospital room at each nappy change. The first time we did it she peed, and might have also pooed, I forget. It was a brilliant feeling! It felt great to know that it wasn't all just theory but would actually work!
How did you know when to offer the potty? She never gave any signals, that we could decipher, and was very windy so often her grunts just signalled farts, so we just offered at nappy changes.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? Definitely part-time - I call it EC Lite! We use cloth nappies at home and, at the moment, disposables when out of the house or on holiday. We still offer at every change and often she doesn't do anything, but she started solid food a few weeks ago and now that her poos are getting more solid she is doing the poo face, so finally we have a signal to go on, and whisk her to the loo when she does it. Often the first bit of poo has gone in the nappy but we always get lots more in the toilet! We don't use any special clothes but I really like the green Ikea potty - it's exactly the right size for her.
How do you go about pottying at night? We don't. Sleep is more important! And it'd be impossible anyway because she doesn't signal for wees.
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? Not sure if it affected it, but we're doing baby-led weaning as I've learned that babies know what they're doing with these things.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? So far it's going well. Most wees go in the nappy but most poos in the loo. Even if we end up missing some poos our daughter will still be used to using the toilet/potty so we shouldn't have as many issues with nappy conditioning or toilet aversion when it comes to transitioning her to toilet independence.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Doing it from birth and seeing it work, and people saying you can do it as much or as little as you like. It really can fit into your way of life and is compatible with your preferences and priorities.
How did other people react to your pottying? Family seem to get it, especially now that they've seen it work. One friend has started doing it with her daughter because I talked to her about it, which is brilliant! Most other friends smile and nod!
How did professionals react to your pottying? I think the HV is the only one I've told, and she didn't say much but seemed fine with it.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Just give it a go - you have nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain!
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? Jenn and the Born Ready website are founts of incredibly useful knowledge, advice and experience on all aspects of infant pottying. Seriously, there's nothing she doesn't know! The Facebook group is so educational - just quietly have a nose at other people's questions and you learn so much.
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Anna, 33, Cambridge, UK
Mother to a 4 year old boy (pottied from 4 weeks) and 2 year old girl (pottied from birth)."I did a degree in Engineering, Economics and Management and started my career as civil engineering consultant. I then worked in international development doing water and sanitation before having kids. I've travelled alot but am now UK based doing a part time PhD in policy, physical activity and public health.
We take a mix of parenting approaches, both attachment style (baby wearing etc) and more mainstream (including controlled crying). "
When did you first hear about baby pottying? I came across this website during night time feeds when my son was a few weeks old. I was googling ways to stop him weeing on me during nappy changes! I started with him at 4 weeks (very part time). With his sister I started on day 2 (after a cesarean) and caught some meconium!
Tell us about your first catch! It was pretty exciting! I did it over a potty on the living room floor. Luckily it was laminate floor as my aim was terrible.For my second baby I did it holding her over an open nappy on the hospital bed (an incontinence pad underneath just in case). I was pretty pleased with myself about catching meconium!
How did you know when to offer the potty? After feeds, on waking, or whenever nothing else obvious was the problem.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? First baby was part time, especially at the start. He had washable nappies sometimes at home but disposables when out. With second baby she always wore nappies (wearing cloth more regularly but also disposables sometimes) but we still did full time EC. Used 2 part bambino mios, then Flaparaps and when more reliable bright bots training pants.
How do you go about pottying at night?
First child we tried a few times but didn't do it really. He wore a disposable nappy.
Second baby also wore disposable nappy at night but if she woke I often pottied her and she'd fall straight back to sleep after - so much less night time pacing around!
When they were older and generally dry at least night we did pre-empt, and still do often with the 2 year old.
When did you stop using nappies? Son - no nappies at 16 months then reliable at 20 months (day and night); daughter - no nappies at 14 months, reliable at 22 months. For both we used bright bots training pants once we stopped the nappies, including at night. Still used Flaparaps for long journeys for a while, just in case (although didn't really need to).
It was all going so well, and then.... Thought my daughter was done at 14 months but then she learnt to walk and talk and it took her longer to be reliably dry.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Overall I think it's ok easier than normal potty training. I can't begin to imagine how difficult a stubborn 2/3 year old would be!
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Flaparaps, and the EC Facebook group.
How did other people react to your pottying? Most people have been interested. I never had any negative comments about it.
How did professionals react to your pottying? They had heard of it and were interested or neutral.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Give it a go. It should mean you avoid pooey nappies! Makes using cloth really simple.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? Both really helpful!
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Hannah, 24, Leeds, UK
Midwife and mother to a 15 week old boy. Used a potty from 12 weeks. "My first baby. I have a lot a experience with other people's newborns. So different when it's your own!"
When did you first hear about baby pottying? Started at 12 weeks. The Nappy Free Baby book was suggested on Amazon! I dislike disposable nappies and use cloth as much as possible. Though the extra washing involved still has an impact on the environment. Pottying seemed like an obvious next step and is another way to bond with my son.
Tell us about your first catch! The same day I heard about pottying, we tried it. I didn't expect him to do anything except be angry for holding him in this strange position.I was shocked and probably a little bit too excited when he weed for the first time in the toilet. I had held him out at the wrong angle so he actually hit the wall but I didn't care.
How did you know when to offer the potty? He'd just had a feed, and was making fussing noises.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? We offer it at specific times such as after a nap, feed or after being in his car seat. Also when he shows certain cues. We still use nappies as I only do it part time but it has decreased how many we use by a lot. I like using potties and I find it hard to kneel next to / bend over the toilet and aim him. Also it gives him independence to sit unsupported already at fifteen weeks. He seems to enjoy a good sit on his potty.
How do you go about pottying at night? We don't do it at night yet. We try to keep his nights as uninterrupted as possible to maximise sleep!
Any amusing / inspiring memories? He started leaning forward on the potty now to get a deeper squat, and makes the cutest little grunts when he's going.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? So far so good! So glad I'm doing it, I feel it's something we have definitely bonded over.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Setting up a potty station with wipes, a mat, his potty on a puppy pad incase he aims wrong, and a toy in case he gets fussy.
How did other people react to your pottying? Some friends and family know. I tried not to make a big deal out of it incase they thought I was bonkers. Everyone who I've told thinks it's fabulous that he actually goes.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? Go for it, you'll probably be pleasently surprised.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? Brilliant for advice.
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Orla, 36, South West, Ireland
Stay at home mother to a 12 month old daughter. Started using a potty at 8 months old."Spoonie."
When did you first hear about baby pottying? While pregnant, from a friend who was also pregnant. I decided to give it a go because my child always had a poop at the same time, so rather than cleaning a nappy I empty a potty.
Tell us about your first catch! She was 10 months old. I was delighted. I sat her on the potty and breastfed her. She automatically did a poop.
How did you know when to offer the potty? She did a regular morning poop so I offered it then.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? Cloth nappies exclusively. Part time EC.
How do you go about pottying at night? We don't.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Yes. She hates poo on her skin. We have reduced stress for both of us. If I miss a poop she comes up and tuggs at my leg to change her so I feel she is getting better at communicating her need to me.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Her regularity.
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Catherine, 36, London, England.
Mother of a 22 month old girl. Started pottying at 9 months, in pants by 20 months. "Love comedy and books. Always trying to be a bit healthier (by eating more good stuff, not by cutting out crisps)."
When did you first hear about baby pottying? I had a friend who had done it at 9-10 months. I read about it in a baby whisperer book. Then read more books about it. Started offering my baby the potty at 9 months, mainly after naps or after a long time in the pram etc.
Tell us about your first catch! I'd been meaning to try it but was a bit scared. My hand ended up slightly forced as I had to get a stool sample. My baby did a poo and and wee into the potty. I was delighted but also, it meant I couldn't use the stool sample.
How did you know when to offer the potty? I didn't. It was an experiment. But I knew the 'good times' to offer from books, e.g. after naps etc.
How do you go about pottying in the day time? Now we are completely done with daytime nappies. But for a long time we were using disposal nappies and pull ups. But often we could make one nappy last all day if we caught them all. We sort of gradually transitioned from part time to full time. Then when we felt confident, we switched to pants at about 20 months. I make sure I offer the potty at regular intervals, especially before we go out etc. But my daughter is really good at giving signals now as well. The pottette is my favourite portable potty. (There was no loo - I know - at my baby's swimming class, so it meant I could still give her a chance to wee when she woke up before the lesson).
How do you go about pottying at night? We don't do it at night unless she actually wakes up.
When did you stop using nappies? About 20 months.
Has pottying your baby changed your life / outlook / approach to other aspects of parenting? Maybe. I think it's made me closer with her, and more able to understand her.
It was all going so well, and then.... Probably stayed in nappies a tiny bit longer than we needed to. Baby went from signalling well, to not minding if she weed in a nappy. We just had to sort of go cold turkey and pantless for 2 days and then it was somehow all sorted.
How did it all go? Are you glad you did it? Overall it was actually very smooth and stress free. Am very glad we did it.
Did any One Thing make pottying easier for you? Probably lots of things but definitely our childcare situation. My daughter was in nursery two afternoons a week and they agreed to offer her the potty. Also our childminder was happy to do it too.
How did other people react to your pottying? Most people were a bit shocked that we were doing it so young. And now that she's done it so young. (Even though she's not the youngest at all comparatively to people who start much younger). But no one openly laughed at us or made any disparaging comments. If anything I felt paranoid that I was coming off as smug whenever I had to ask where a friends toilet was etc.
How did professionals react to your pottying? It didn't really come up with any health professionals that I can remember. Our childminder and nursery were helpful and agreed to offer the potty.
What would you say to someone who is interested in pottying but hasn't tried it yet? If you fancy it give it a go. It's easier than you think in lots of ways. It's just a different kind of issue to deal with than nappies.
Anything nice to say about Born Ready or the ec uk facebook group? We were already pretty much done when I discovered the group and wish I'd found it sooner, but it's definitely a really helpful resource and it's great to know you're not alone with regressions etc and don't have to worry about looking smug.
Have you ever had to make a catch for medical reasons? My first ever catch was for a stool sample. She did a wee as well and so I couldn't use it.
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